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Curse Dark, Light CandleMay 10, 2007 Up at the barn one paddock is called the Boatyard, because -- you're way ahead of me -- there used to be boats in it. Now the boats that aren't in the water stay up in the "boat shed" (actually a gorgeous post-and-beam barn that was built last year) and we use the Boatyard for turnout, especially in the summer. Right now, however, the wooden sloop Schipperke is in the Boatyard. Schipperke is due for her annual painting, but she dried out considerably over the winter and painting a dried-out boat is not a good idea unless you like leaks. The Boatyard paddock, unlike the boat shed, has a faucet handy, so there sits Schipperke, in drydock, getting wet. In the mornings Jim hoses water into her hull, and the water spends the afternoon draining out of the boat and into the ground. Where I come into the story is that this is the faucet I use to fill the water troughs in Allie's and Rascal's paddocks, and the faucet is just the other side of the fence. I have a short length of hose out there, perfect for filling the troughs (actually a double sink) but nowhere near long enough to fill Schipperke. So in the mornings Jim attaches a regulation hose to the faucet, and in the afternoon I unscrew his hose and replace it with mine. This involves reaching through the fence, a maneuver that is rendered more tricky by the strands of electrified wire that run just above each of the three boards in the fence. Yesterday I gave myself a shock. Today I lost my balance: first my hand got zapped by the bottom wire, then my head got zapped by the middle one. I swear, I smelled burning hair. Would the repeated shocks make me straight, conventional, and stupid? A few seconds later I brushed the middle wire again. "Fuck!" I said in a very loud voice. Enough of this shit. I marched into the tack room, found a Y-connector, marched it out to the Boatyard, screwed it onto the faucet and screwed both hoses onto it. Possibly the wire raised my IQ a few points instead of lowering it.
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