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Letters to the Editor
January 10, 2007
I'm already starting to have some Squatters' Speakeasy bleed-throughs, so don't be too surprised if my prose lapses into the mood iconoclastic. No, I'm not ready to disclose the wheat paste recipe that's been passed down through several generations of certain fortunate families (mine not among them -- I had to leave home to learn any of this shit), or to suggest what sort of media one might consider affixing to whose sort of door. I do advise writing the ACLU's phone number and maybe that of a sympathetic lawyer on the palm of your hand in case the cops confiscate your cell phone or you get busted in a bad-transmission zone.
You won't need the phone numbers for a while yet because tonight's rant is about a perfectly legal method of free expression: writing letters to the editor of the local newspaper. Here on Martha's Vineyard one of the newspapers prints just about every letter it receives, and the other newspaper prints a bunch. Anyone with a Vineyard address can get up and carry on about just about anything. Letters to the Editor used to be the best part of the paper, right up there with the Court News and the Bargain Box (free classified ads for anyone trying to sell something that costs $100 or less). In recent years they've grown dull. I have a hard time dragging myself through even the ones that make sense, the ones I agree with, and the ones written by (or trashing) someone I know.
Passionate feelings and a noble cause do not alone a good letter make. Letters to the editor are a spectator sport. They may begin "To the Editor:" but their primary purpose is not to make a dent in the editor's skull or the squishy gray stuff underneath it. The idea is to catch the attention of your fellow readers, then to inform, amuse, entertain, or impress them. The best way to do this is to consider what informs, amuses, entertains, and impresses you. Are you wowed by paragraph after paragraph of dry but excruciatingly accurate facts? When someone jumps on the tired old hobbyhorse he's been galloping around on for the last 20 years, do you drop everything and listen? Probably not.
When you write your letter, address it to a specific person or two: someone who's willing to listen but will go on to the next letter or the Bargain Box if you get repetitive, shrill, or confusing or if you go on too long. Make your case clearly, wield your skewers lightly, and don't shoot yourself in the foot. When you finish your letter, let it sit at least overnight before you send it. Excesses, lapses, and omissions are much easier to catch on the second day, and you want to catch them before the paper hits the stands. If you've got a friend or family member willing to read it over, so much the better. I'm a serious fan of reading everything aloud; give it a try.
When your letter comes out in the paper, read it as if you've never seen it before. Even if you catch an infelicity or two, and if you now think you came down a little hard on whatever miscreant you were writing about, give yourself a pat on the back. Speaking out in public takes guts, and you did it.
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